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Monday 17 December 2012

Her Joy, Her Pain, Her Story – Nollywood Actress Stella Damasus Reveals All

Stella Damasus has over the years, been a prominent name in the Nigerian movie industry. An actress and a singer, she started her career in acting and music as a teenager.
Now aged 34, she has had about 20 years experience in professional acting and singing. She has over 50 movies to her credit, has won several awards and was nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role at the African Movie Academy Awards in 2009. Aside from her music and acting carer,

Stella has a deep passion for philanthropy work and is affiliated to several charity organisations. Stella is a mother of 2 and was tragically widowed in December 2004 when her late husband, Jaiye Aboderin died. She got married a couple of years after but sadly, the marriage ended shortly after.
In this revealing interview, Stella speaks about her passions, the several controversies and media reports surrounding her late husband’s death, second marriage and more.
You haven’t been acting much lately. In the past few years, we’ve seen less of you on the screens. Why is that?
The truth is I intentionally slowed down. I was in a system where I knew a lot of crap was going on and instead of me to sit there and complain, I had to come out of it a bit. I just decided to be careful with the kind of roles I played. Every film, they want me to cry, they want me to be the good girl or the victim. I got tired of answering the question “Oh Stella, why do you like to cry in movies?”. I decided to look for something challenging and so if I get a script and the character is different and challenging, then I would do. Now, I am trying to see how I can make my own movies.
I read somewhere that music brought you and your late husband together…
Yes, I was in a band called Synergy with my late husband. We were singing everywhere together. We had a single that we did a video for, Love Song. Before he died, we were in the process of making our album. We had done about six songs but he wanted me to release my solo album first but I knew I wasn’t ready. So I encouraged him to go ahead with his. He had finished his album and was getting ready to start shooting videos before he died.


Stella, I say this with my deepest sympathy. It’s been eight years since the passing of your late husband and coincidentally, we are in the month of December. You wrote an article some days ago called “Jaiye On My Mind” where you celebrated the life he lived. In the month of the anniversary of his death, what thoughts are running through your mind?
Sometimes, I still think I’m dreaming. Sometimes, I still think that he went on a very long trip and he’s coming back. That is the honest truth. I’ve moved on, my children are doing well but you can never finish mourning. You can never forget. It is easier to handle, the scars are easier to deal with but it never goes away.
Has time healed your wounds?
Time can let you handle it, not really heal. After a while, you get better and stronger. Maybe after 15 to 20 years, I might get to where there is healing, I don’t know. This is somebody that I lived with and shared my life with. Somebody that if anything happened, the first thing I would do is call him. I can’t deceive myself saying I am totally healed.

There were conflicting reports about your second marriage and divorce. What really happened?
Yes I got married and the marriage is over, we got divorced. It was due to irreconcilable differences. I don’t like talking about my ex-husband because he is a very private person and a very responsible man. We are two adults that entered into something and those same two adults saw that it wasn’t working and we decided to quietly leave it.
I’m only asking these questions to correct any false rumours being spread.
The truth of the matter is I really don’t care what people think about my private life. If they insist or believe there is somebody, they should go ahead and believe that.
This ring on your finger looks like an engagement ring, Stella. Am I correct and does this mean something?
Well, if it looks like it then it is. It does abi? Then it is. For me to boldly wear this, I know what it would cause so I’m saying to them, talk. Yes I’m wearing an engagement ring so its left for you to decide whether it’s real, or I’m wearing it for fashion, or I’m just looking for trouble.
On a final and brighter note, tell me about your children. How are they doing?
My kids are wonderful, they are growing up nicely. I have a teenage daughter who is 13 and the second one is 10. I’m very happy that God has helped me because its God that helps you train children in the way that you want them to grow. Even if I’m not home, my children still do morning devotion on their own. Because of the experiences we’ve had together, we’ve become best friends. I don’t let them see me as Mummy, I tell them to see me as their friend who would correct them with love. They are a blessing to me and they are so mature. They had to grow up quickly because of what they went through. They’ve made life easier for me.

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